31 Weeks

Again, I am loving my second trimester! Things are really starting to pick up now, and I cannot believe I am in to week 30s.
I had my first what they call Centering Group at my midwives' office this past week, and to be honest it was kind of a negative experience. It's a program they've developed where they have the moms due in the same month together meet every other week for 4 visits to just have an open group discussion about different aspects of pregnancy, birthing, nursing and parenting. The discussion is guided by the midwives, but is really controlled by the women in the group. It's not a class, it's just kind of a support group. Anyway, in my group there are about 3 women due on the exact same day, two weeks after me, one woman due a week after me. They all spoke about having their nurseries ready and starting classes and decided on birthplaces, and I felt a little awkward. I didn't speak up much, and then when I was asked and admitted that I had not done many of those things yet, I was kind of looked down on and scolded a bit in the group. I did not feel supported or encouraged, and it was a negative experience for me. The worst part about the whole thing was that I've started to question the path of midwives because of it. It's not that I am young or stupid or unfit to be a mother (which is how it felt like I was being treated) but that no one had actually told me that I was expected to have done these things yet. The last time I met with my midwife a month or so ago, I wasn't told to register in any classes yet or to be getting ready for things, I was told that I have lots of time to decide on a birth place and plan and there was really no rush. I just feel a little bit let down. I want to be prepared, I was to be a good mother, of course I want to be ready for my baby and be able to care for it the best way possible, but I don't feel in this case that I was given the tools I needed to get to the point I am apparently supposed to be at right now.
I am trying not to worry about it too much. It was tough on the day of, but Eric was a good support and we had a good encouraging talk about it. I have great mothers and other relatives and friends who have done this before, and I know that when I really do need things they are all there for me. I am not as scared now as I was earlier in the week, and I've realised that I just need to learn to be more confident and to take better control of my own experience throughout this whole process. I need to make sure I ask all the questions I need answers too, and be sure to do my own homework as well. I need to demand the experience that I was promised when I signed up for midwifery care, and I'm sure I will get it.
I really don't have a lot of time left, but I still have enough to turn this around and make it a positive, uplifting and even empowering experience for me.