Yes this is true. Eric and I are going to have a baby.
This adventure started (well not started, but first reared it's head) on the day we got back from NYC. We flew in around noon and I felt awful (and also I lost my cell phone, so that sucked). As soon as we landed I thought I was going to be sick, and that feeling never went away. That whole week I was exhausted and could not get myself feeling okay, so matter what I tried. This was literally the worst jet lag I had ever experienced. I could not figure out what was causing it, but the more people I mentioned it to, the more I started to feel like I maybe knew exactly what it was. On Thursday night I couldn't take it anymore, and so I went to my mother-in-law to try to do some muscle testing (I really can't go in to what muscle testing is right now, it would take up way way way to much room to explain, but I think most of you close enough to me have been briefed already. Moving on). She tried to figure out what fear or negative belief could be causing nausea or fatigue, and we came up with nothing. Finally she turned to us and said "all signs point to one thing".
This was not really what we were expecting, and not really in this way. It took Eric by an unpleasant surprise at first. We had a plan, and this was not it - it was really really close to it, but just a little bit off. Eric and I both have a hard time when planning goes that way, but he was really worried this time. (Background: Eric is starting his designation for accounting in September. This means a new full time job with an accounting firm, as well as part time school in the evenings and pretty much every available second. The busy season for accountants just happens to be January-April, and well if we're due in February, you do the math.) He is concerned that our baby will land itself in our lives right at a time when he will be basically completely unavailable to our family. That's a legitimate concern, I think.
The next day was June 21. I am sick as a dog, and don't even make it to work that day. It was kind of a nice day actually. We spent most of the morning in bed. A pregnancy test waited for us on the bathroom sink; for a perfect moment when Eric and I both would be excited to see that || show up on the screen. I peed and sure enough that positive showed up literally the second it hit the stick. We are pregnant. What next? First things first. I downloaded The Bump app, and calculated how far along I was. I calculated 5 weeks. We read all about what's going on in there at 5 weeks, and it was a day I will always remember as one of my favourites.
I saw my doctor the next week, and she gave me some great reading materials, as well as a prescription of something to help with the nausea. She told me right away to choose doctor or midwives and to find and meet with one as soon as possible. I don't know how I didn't realise that being pregnant would be so serious! I knew I wanted midwives - my mom had midwives for 4 of her 7 babies, and it's just always been the experience I want. I filled out every intake form for every midwife practice I could find in the city of Calgary, and then I waited. Slowly one by one the emails starting coming in saying "Thank you for your application. We are full, but your name has been added to a waiting list." Then I got a phone call at the beginning of July to say that I was in with one of the groups. It was such a relief, but I couldn't even meet them until July 17th. That seemed like forever away.
Everything to do with pregnancy takes FOREVER!
I met them on the 17th with Eric, and felt kind of unsettled after the appointment. I just really didn't know what I wanted for my birthing experience, and didn't realise how many decisions needed to be made so early on. Eric and I chatted for a long time, and I told him all my fears and concerns and silly little nit picky things. He laughed, and then he comforted me (which is usually how it goes). He said he knew that the experience with midwives is what he wanted and what he wanted me to have. His mother never had midwives, and we concluded that that's why so many people choose not to take that root - it's unfamiliar. But as it becomes more widely accepted, more monitored and more accessible, he seems to think that it's the obvious choice. I didn't even think he'd care, but hearing him so certain and convinced so quickly of something (that is not like Eric or me for most big decisions) brought me comfort and we made the decision.
Morning Sickness is a misnomer. Not much happens between when you pee on the stick and choose a doctor, to when you actually see the baby on the screen. It is a lot of waiting and putting up with symptoms, with very little sign of anything glorious or miraculous. This is what I have been doing for the past 5 weeks. Nausea lasts all morning, all day and all night, at least it does for me. That's why my doctor prescribed the medication. One thing I thought about pregnancy was that cravings happen for a reason - to provide your body with the nutrients it needs to grow a baby. That's not what it's been like for me lately. I have not eaten a meal since we were in NYC. I don't know what it is, but my body cannot stand the look of any kind of food, and when any tiny bite of food makes it in, I promise you it doesn't stay there for long. I could literally keep an entire blog of the different forms of vomit I have experienced, and keep you all on your toes for weeks I'm sure, but I will not. It's supposed to end soon, and so that is all I have to say about that. Moving on.
This week was finally the first milestone. It was the first time I saw the fruits of my nausea. It was wonderful.
I wasn't 100% sure on my dates of my last period and cycle length and such, so my midwife scheduled me a dating ultrasound. That was on Monday. That was the first time we saw the baby and it's heartbeat. Eric and I went together, and it was a great few moments to share with him. The tech showed us where the heart was, and showed us how it beats. It was at 166 bpm, so apparently that's good. I did not expect to see it move around so much though. I don't know why, but with how small it is in there right now, I really thought it would be less visibly active, but it did not stop squirming and bouncing the whole time. Weird that I really can't even feel a flutter. Right now it measures about 4.5 centimeters in length, and that's about it. With the measurements she did for me, I was dated at 11 weeks and 2 days, with my due date on February 9, 2014. The absolutely great news is that it put me one week ahead of what I thought. That means one week closer to the end of my first trimester - hopefully the end of the nausea and other crummy symptoms.
Then on Friday I had a second ultrasound. This one was for a first trimester screening for chromosome related birth defects. Eric was really nervous for this one. His greatest fear in this whole process is that we will have an unhealthy or handicapped baby. I don't know why he worries so much, because chances are much greater that everything will be completely fine and perfectly "normal", and even if it weren't, I know he'd do great. He has a young cousin with special needs, and I think he sees how much work it can be for his aunt sometimes. They ran the test based on my age alone at first, and my chances of carrying a baby with down syndrome were 1/2000 something. Then they did measurements of the baby, combined it with my blood work and height and weight and everything else they could find out about me, and rand it again. My final results were 1 in over 20,000. Naturally I felt really good about this, and came out of there beaming. But when I took it to Eric, we talked about the reality of the situation: if Heavenly Father wants us to have that experience, if He believes our child needs that experience, or if He thinks that it would any way make us learn something we need to learn, we will still be that 1/20,000 and that's going to be okay too.
The last 6 weeks have been something new and exciting, but in the end we are having fun and the little lime sized thing growing inside me is perfectly healthy. We are excited!
