Breast feeding was our main challenge and it consumed basically every waking moment and thought of the week.
The night we brought her home from the hospital was a real challenge. I thought then and there that I was never going to be able to be a mother - of course I was exhausted beyond anything I'd ever felt, as well as hormonal and emotional. We did not have an easy time with breast feeding. At the hospital the midwives showed us what to do, and got her to feed once for a little while. At home though, it was really tough to try to replicate what they had shown us when I was tired and she was tired and Eric and Grandma were tired. It was a messy night. After much crying on everyone's part and no successful feeding, my mom took her for a little while so that Eric and I could get some rest. The only way she got her to calm was with a soother, so that's how we got through our first night.
The next day the midwives came for a home visit. She checked me and baby and did all her paperwork and we told her our breast feeding woes. She showed me a couple of things I was doing wrong and ways to fix them and I was feeling a lot better when she left. We tried again, and still nothing. It was really really hard to do. I could not properly replicate what she wanted to me to do, and I was feeling so discouraged and down on myself for "not even being able to feed my own baby". The trials only continued from there. She slept basically 20 hours a day and would not wake up to feed when I tried. Her skin was starting to yellow a bit and in those first couple of days I heard the word lethargic used for her more than a couple of times. This word absolutely broke my heart. Every time I heard it, it broke my heart. Luckily I had lots of milk come in and it came in early. We were able to pump almost a full cup of it in the first day or two and feed her by syringe enough for her to get what she needed to fill her tummy, but the breast feeding still was not coming to us, and I felt like she was suffering and struggling because of me.
On Monday morning we had another visit from the midwives to help with breast feeding, and again the same thing happened. We got a little bit of advice, it seemed easy enough to fix, and when they left we were on our own and unable to replicate. Luckily I was also given a prescription for nipple ointment and told that we should consider getting a nipple shield and trying that for a while. That night we went out to the last of our prenatal classes because it was the class on breast feeding and infant care - something we really realised we needed help with. It really didn't seem to help a ton with our situation, and by the end of it I was exhausted. On the way home we phoned the midwife to tell her that nursing was not getting any better. She told us to get the shield and give that a try, and that she was confident it would start to get her eating a little more. Eric's dad met us at home that night and gave us both blessings, and then Eric ran out to a couple of stores and was able to track down a shield for us. Feeding with that was doable at least. Tuesday went smoother (although we were all still learning) and by the midwife's visit on Wednesday we were doing okay with feeding. She checked Cecelia out and everything looked great. She hadn't even lost as much weight as she could have, and there was really nothing to worry about. We started to feel good about it. We were picking it up, things were looking up. Thursday was spent mostly only on the couch nursing her - which was nice because I felt like she was making up for lost time during the week and really making sure her body took what it needed and used it. It was a relief for me to see. The midwife came back again on Friday to weigh her, and everything looked really good. She was doing great and I was feeling really good. I honestly have no idea what I would have done that first week without the midwives and their pager. They were so willing to help and such a kind support. They did have about 6 or 7 births in the first 5 days of the week, and so were quite busy, but they made time for Cecelia and I and really made us feel like it was important that we get the hang of this and make it work now.
Cecelia loves to lay on her Daddy's chest to nap, and Daddy loves to have her there. Mommy and Daddy have next to no clothes that fit her and so she spends a lot of time in whatever onsie we can find and the swaddle blanket we have for her. She sucks on her hands a lot and specifically found her thumb a few times. She keeps her hand up by her face and her legs are almost always crossed up at her bum, just like she was sitting inside me. Her first holiday celebrated was Valentine's Day. She lost her umbilical cord at exactly one week.
This week Cecelia met:
Great Grandma and Grandpa Atwood
Aunt Sarah, Aunt Elizabeth, Aunt Rachel, Uncle Logan and Uncle Jordan
her cousins Max and Verona and Araya
Mandi Schmale and her mom Sharon
Jarren, Lena and Lucy Bennett
Laura Dunford
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