Another problem with having had a baby with such good sleep habits, is that I just went along with it. I didn't want to disturb the peace, and I was happy with what she was doing. Now she thinks she's been calling the shots all this time, and that she gets to continue calling the shots - even when her new routine is driving mom crazy.
In speaking with a couple of moms at church a couple of weeks ago, I cam to know of a book called The Baby Sleep Solution. Now, I am not in anyway trying to recommend or promote this program over others, but the women I spoke with had tried it and like it - one with a baby older than mine and one younger. It's a quick easy read, and it just seems to make sense to me as I go through it. I agree with things she says, and I enjoy being able to feel validated in my feelings as I go through different points she addresses. Two things I really like that she says in the beginning of the book:
1. If you let a baby cry past 5 minutes, she's too exhausted and overwhelmed and worked up to be learning anything. She's not making connections anymore to "if I cry for long enough, my mom will come and get me" or "crying = snuggle time". She's too far gone for any of that.
2. Babies, and kids, need to be taught about rules and structure - especially as it pertains to basic human needs like food and sleep. They need to be taught what to do and how to do it. If you do not do some kind of sleep training (I use that term loosely because it can mean all kinds of different things, and take all kinds of different forms), you are leaving the responsibility to learn these things up to your infant. That's not fair to her or to you.
So, while I am not promoting any program in particular, or any person, I am saying to all you moms to be out there that I wish I'd thought about and learned about sleep training sooner than I have. Take some time (while you have the time) to choose (or even create) a program that works for you and your family. She also talks about how the baby should adjust to life in the family that already exists, the whole family does not need to change to adjust to baby (after the first few weeks, of course). I don't care what it is you decide to do, or who you decide to trust, but find something that you think will work for you, and prepare yourself to put it in place at a time earlier than I did.
Okay, now that I've said my piece about that, this is how we've been doing with our's:
I started to read the book over our holidays, and then decided to start the program when we got back from vacation. The first step in the process is to get baby eating at the right times, and the right amounts, during the day. This author figures baby needs about 24 ounces of breast milk in a 24 hour period. She suggests feeding every 4 hours, in a 12 hour period, on the hour. You can choose any twelve hours that work for you during the 24 - we've chosen 8AM-8PM. On Monday she was a perfect dream baby. She woke up and ate at 8AM, she was ready again at Noon, again at 4PM, ate at 8PM and went to bed. She even got the naps down (which is not until step 4 of the program). She napped for 1 hour between the first two feedings, and 2 hours between the 2nd and 3rd. The night however, was another story. She was up twice, and the up for good at 6:30 in the morning. Being up so early threw Tuesday off completely. We tried our best to stick to the schedule again, and for the most part it seemed to work for feeding - napping was all over the place, but that's okay. One step at a time is important. We only fed her cereal once yesterday, and she slept so much better overnight. I don't know why this is the case, but it seems to be a trend. Each time we skip a meal of cereal, she does better at night. So we've reduced it for now to only breakfast time cereal - which I think is fine because she's not even quite 6 months yet so she certainly doesn't need more than that.
Anyway, so we're trying our best. We're working right now on just making sure she eats at 8AM, Noon, 4PM and 8PM and goes to bed consistently right after the 8PM feed. I think a consistent bed time is so important for little kids, and am learning now how important it is for me too.
I am loving Cecelia in bed at 8PM these days (this has been going on for a couple weeks now). It gives me a bit of time alone before Eric gets home, it give Eric and I time alone before bed, and we are rarely in bed past 11PM because there is just no need to be. It's been really nice for us - together and individually.
So here's the thing that I have learned and loved about starting this program - the reason I would suggest it (or again, something similar to it) to anyone: I am gaining perspective. I am learning that this is not a struggle that needs to last forever; I am developing patience. I am learning to endure, and to enjoy the ride. My time while she naps during the day is my own, and she is learning and growing through this process as well. I have been blessed these last few days with an added measure of patience, and I don't know where it comes from. I have only one guess, and that is prayer. Eric prays for me always, I pray for me when I have the faith to, and when I phoned home on the weekend crying to my parents they said the only thing they were really able to from all the way over there: "we will pray for you". In the moment, I am sorry to say, I thought "Thanks a bunch guys, that's really helpful. Not!" I phoned home expecting all the answers from my seasoned parents, and all I got was - yupp it's hard, sorry about that, we'll pray for you. Well, it turns out that I needed that more than anything. With their prayers, and others' prayers, and our own prayers, I am learning to be faithful, learning to endure and learning to be patient. Most importantly I am learning that I am doing a fine job - Cecelia has a good mom who loves her more than anything and wants what's best for her. There's nothing that can replace that. I am doing well, and I can rest knowing that my best is all that can be expecting, and all that she requires. I cannot even explain the weight that has been lifted from my shoulders in a matter of only two days. It's a tiny miracle, and one that I am so so grateful for.
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