Dear Baby,
This is what Mamma looks like when you've been in there for 18 weeks.
I am grateful that lately I have been a lot less sick. It's started to come back again every once in a while, but for the most part I've kissed those nauseous days goodbye. I am feeling pretty tired at the end of a long work day or on a really warm day, but nothing too bad I don't think. I still haven't felt you move though, and I am getting anxious. I've been told it probably won't happen until about 21 weeks or so, so I'm not worried, but I am excited and want it to come.
About 2 weeks ago we met with our midwife again for the second time. She just did some routine question and answers, did a few tests, and we then we got to hear your heartbeat. That was really neat. By that point Dad and I had both seen you on the screen once together, and a second time for me. We've seen your little heart working away, but to actually hear it was an interesting experience. I also took the chance to ask her all kinds of questions about diet and exercise and weight gain and all those kinds of things, to make sure you're getting everything you need from me. It's hard to tell from out here, so I'm sorry about that. I guess I'm fairly standard and won't really need to start worrying or being too concerned for another couple of weeks, so that's good. She also gave me a couple of good ideas for workouts I can try to strengthen all my muscles I'll need for birthing, and to keep myself feeling good and fit.
Last week was a lot of fun: we had our 18 week ultrasound. Out here there are a lot of people (including us) who are wondering if you're a boy or a girl. It is very weird to me that I really have absolutely no way of knowing. You're growing and developing and moving and living inside of me, and I don't even know whether to buy you a blue or a pink blanket for when you come. I am obviously curious, but the truth is it doesn't matter. You just focus on being healthy and growing properly, and know that you are already developing quite a fan base out here.
We got to see all of your bones that are forming, including the little hands and feet and fingers and toes. Those were my favourite part. Your dad's favourite part was seeing your spine and ribcage. He was just fascinated with the way your back bone moved and curved. We saw you skull and face bones, and your leg and arm bones. We also got to see the four chambers of your heart that are now formed and functioning. I'm sorry about all the poking and prodding that was done. You just would not roll over. We needed to make sure that your heart was functioning properly, and that your hands had all 10 fingers, but you just weren't cooperating. Maybe you were napping or deep in thought or something, I don't know. But we got what we needed eventually, and we know that you are healthy and right on schedule for growth.
I do really like having these pictures of you, and the chance we got to see you last week. Now that I've had a week to let it settle though, I realise that you're growing fast. I'm nearly half way through my pregnancy now, and sooner than I can imagine you will be out here and a part of our little family. I hope you know how much I love you and how much I will be grateful to meet you, but I have gotten a little nervous this last week. A little nervous that I might not be completely ready to take care of you. I am a little nervous about how much attention and care and love you will need from me, and a little scared that I might let you down somehow - that I likely will let you down somehow someday. Just remember all the good and exciting feelings I feel for you, and don't let a couple of days every once in a while when I get freaked out and overwhelmed scare you. You are loved and you will be so well cared for. I have my fears and my nerves, as I'm sure you do too, but I have plenty of time left to prepare myself and our home for you.
Dad and I are all kinds of things right now, but most of all excited!
Love you lots,
Mom (Katherine)
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